Mama's Hand

 

 

I held Mama's hand when I was a little kid 

When I felt scared it was something I always did

She'd chase away all the monsters under my bed 

She'd calm my fears as I listened to every word she said 

 

Those years when I was little helped mould this man

I felt so comforted holding Mama's hand  

Taking me to school I always sat up in the front seat 

It's those childhood memories that are now bitter sweet 

 

The day I left home and the look in her eyes 

I tried to be brave as I stumbled through goodbyes 

Her youngest son in life was trying to make a stand 

As we embraced and I felt the love from Mama's hand

 

I got ship wrecked a few times in life moored on land

I was never too proud to reach out for Mama's hand

I'd drive past her house sometimes and see the lights on

A silent comfort in my life when things were wrong

 

I done the best i could but finally I got washed ashore 

There came a point where i just stood at her door

Not knowing if i should knock just a penniless man  

Until I felt the love on my shoulder from Mama's hand 

 

I turned around to see my mentor standing there 

Something about a mothers love you can't compare 

She fixed me dinner and It felt like when I was a kid 

The understanding from Mama's hand like she did 

 

I was there the whole way through that night 

When my world fell from the sky like a kite 

I held onto Mama's hand and prayed like hell 

That look in the doctors eyes I could tell 

 

Listening to him vomit those obscene lies  

His excuses fell short and rage burnt in my eyes 

I could have easily of lost control and turned violent 

Holding onto Mama's hand my rage she turned silent 

 

She lay there so deserving of a second chance 

Life denied her and it would be her last dance 

I knew then as I know now I never felt more alone 

Whilst holding Mama's hand I'd lost my home 

 

Told her with all sincerity I'll see her on the other side

Now those words echo in my mind of how I lied 

Holding Mama's hand I never once entertained the idea 

My deepest darkest fears turned into reality here 

 

It was one promise I made that I just couldn't keep 

It was just one mountain I climbed that was too steep 

I felt the warmth of Mama's hand slowly grow cold

A memory that will stain my heart till I'm old 

 

I wasn't there when they put her into ashes that day

I couldn't comprehend how it all went that way 

It was the first time whiskey couldn't dull the pain 

I'll never be able to hold Mama's hand again 

 

I chase redemption in these prairies for letting her down 

I'd trade places it should of been me buried in the ground 

I've lost my faith for I can't see how this could be a plan 

To never be able to feel the love of my Mama's hand 

 

How she passed the burden of that memory is mine 

After that, home didn't seem a place to spend time

Sometimes in my dreams I feel her calling this man 

For a moment I was heartened by holding Mama's hand 

 

Time won't heal for me these wounds that are deep

Watching her that day her eyes in constant sleep

I pleaded with our maker to move Mama's hand 

To grant her life once again and alter his plan 

 

There are days I could burn this whole world down

In these empty whiskey bottles I could drown 

I've lost my mentor my North Star my biggest fan 

No one could soothe my qualms like Mama's hand 

 

Sometimes crying is the only way your eyes speak.

When your mouth can't explain the words it seeks 

They say it's not for us to know gods plan 

The holy one is with her now holding my Mama's hand 

 

So this christmas like the last three that's come before 

There's no tree with gifts spread out on the floor 

This cowboy will spend it alone with whiskey 

But I know Mama's hand will always be with me 

 

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Comments (2)

  1. macabre360

    Oh damn wonderwall you’ve touched a cord the runs through us all
    As me grand wee ones open Santa’s presents with such excited flare
    I wish and can almost see their jolly Great Grandma sitting right here
    They never got to know her ways as their moms growing up well did
    Nor did their moms really know her quite as well as I have as a kid
    And you know not a holiday especially a Christmas time passing by
    When I’m in my silent night miss her so with a tear in me eye

    December 21, 2016
    1. wonderwall79

      Thank you BB well put and said, i graciously tip my respect once more thank you as always

      December 22, 2016