Cowboy Ramblings 3

 

 

Seems I've finally had enough and this last straw has finally been drawn.

It's a combination of this time of year and the tall bottle of truth called whiskey

As I sit here on an old tree stump fixing me some grub a feeling has washed over me like an oceans wave hitting the shores.

I can't speak to the man upstairs anymore, I was taught If you can't think of anything nice to say, don't say nothing at all.

Like a whiskey bottle that's been emptied of its last drop, is how I'd sum up the relationship which I have with him.

Like a marriage that's soured over the years.

Like an old weather board house deteriorated over time.

Like a cheap suit that's fallen apart through wear and tear

 

Another friend in the ground before New Years, I've almost become numb to the feeling!

24 years old and gone just another pine box to be nailed up and put on the back of the wagon and horsed out to my cemetery where they all lay.!!

Pieces of me self lay scattered among these tombs, buried with each character that has interacted with me along these dusty trails.

 

They will all be buried here one day like a giant collage of myself.

As each one is put to rest, it will only be a matter of time before the big man comes for me.

Like a game of chess he takes my pawns that are like my good friends or acquaintances I've met, then he moves to my castles or rooks, my horse and my bishops these are the close friends, family members that I have gathered over my time here on this dust ball.!!

Then he'll come for my queen which symbolises the most important person to ones life who ever that may be.!!!

Leaving me the King standing alone with no army, no loved ones against his band of thieves called, death loneliness, misery, cancer, fate, heart ache, pain, disease, famine, murder, these are his soldiers willing to take who he commands in a blink of an eye they'll strike.

 

I don't fear his army, his commands anymore I can't talk to god now without it ending in harsh words.

Like a bad dispute without a mediator  except he sits in the judges chair while I forcefully sit in the witness stand.

 

You can play by all the rules and still lose, yes that is life and I'm sure it won't be the last time I hear that but it still don't make it right.!!!!

No one punches harder than life itself that's for dam sure, Like a neighbourhood bully life walks around pushing innocent people into bushes, stealing their confidence, taking their money, disrupting their lives and worst of all taking anyone's life it pleases to without no emotion towards our misfortune.

This bully or what we call life knows it's untouchable it's uncontrollable, it feeds off the very fear it creates, without consequence

It does whatever it pleases and we are all helpless to do anything about it but accept it, I call BULLSHIT !!!!!

 

Yes yes I see perhaps I'm blinded by whiskey and the dark that I can't see the light.

If I was an immortal and seen a god do what he has done here, I'd saddle my steed and find the path that I seek towards these big golden gates I would ride my steed straight through them and push aside whoever may be guarding them until I see a man with a beard sitting in robes and sandals.

I would climb off my steed and walk up to this man face to face and ask him why?

Why has he taken from me what isn't his to take? 

Why have YOU forsaken us?

What is the bigger picture?

I'd stare in his eyes and demand an answer?

I would say how would you like it if I hunted down your 12 apostles?

Why are others who are evil to the core still left to roam these prairies? 

Why have you left me here?

Then I'd say one more? One more time if I have to bury my brother I'm coming back, not to talk but to wage war and I'll bring this whole kingdom down it will be biblical and you can write that down in your scrolls pard!!

 

I'm not a bad man by any sorts sometimes I blame this world for making a good man evil, sometimes life can push you back into a corner and your rolling the dice when you corner any animal cause two things are gonna happen, one..... It will bow down in defeat or two......it's gonna retaliate snarling and baring it's razor teeth and claws ready for a final showdown.!!!!

 

Maybe I have to lay off the whiskey when writing I guess this is the dark outlaw side of the cowboy.!!!!!

 

Perhaps it's the whiskey speaking out of term

Or life's lessons I'm finding hard to learn 

I bid you good night as I spread my bed roll about

Swig my last swallow and put me fire out 

Here's to us all on these dusty trails of our universe 

Just a mere ramble it's your choice if you want to converse 

 

 

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Comments (7)

  1. macabre360

    Oh hell wonderwall there be much to converse on here. I have to say even though it’s seems personal to ones self. This bucket list of yours and much more to be added for sure. Isn’t all that uncommon. Far be it for this Black Bird to be preachy. Nor do I assume to know why, who or what this idea of a god is or may be. And I have my doubts that anyone else really does. Be that as it may. The one thing I can say. Is over the decades of my journey and flighty curiosities. I’ve come to my present conclusion that whatever a God may or may not be if anything at all. We can’t phantom the what. why and wherefore of the over all design or what it seeks to accomplish. Again, if anything. What I have found so far though is the method on one hand seems and can be most miraculous often enough. Then on other hand. Generally as well as very personally malevolent and/or malicious. Not to mention heartless. The truth of the matter in one sense is.. Try as we may and often enough to rule out this “Bully” called “life” out. It matters little if at all because the fact remains that it won’t rule us out.
    It’s like that saying regarding the single foot prints in the sand of an empty sea shore. We think of them as ours alone. If they as the sayin’ goes aren’t. Then we/I have to hope who or whatever they belong to knows where they be carrying us.
    This is a really good piece wonderwall. I says what we all may feel/think from time to time. The mystery of it all is beyond me. So all I can say is … So it Is and so Let it Be.

    January 20, 2017
    1. wonderwall79

      Well put and said my feathered phenom, too many graves in me cemetery has set me off in a tangent.!!
      I know not if there is or isn’t a god.
      Things have led me to believe there is and at times isn’t one.!!
      I believe something must know the way we will all end up, I get a bit fiery sometimes when me whiskey stirs in ones veins, especially of what has happened over these past years, tho I reckon we are all in or have been in that boat before, I ain’t special to think I’m the only one, just me silly outlaw brain gets the best of me at times.!
      There’s an old Wild West saying – Load your brain before you shoot your mouth off.
      I guess it’s the not knowing that highlights me doubts, if we/I knew it would be all swell at the end that would be a different story.!!!
      I guess I’ll keep trotting in me prairies and stirring me brew until the next thorn sticks in me britches
      Thanks for the reply I concur with all you said, tipping me hat once again in respect

      January 21, 2017
  2. morningafter7

    I’ve had to come to terms myself with how temporary and fragile our lives really are. These vessels we call our bodies – well, some last longer than others, but they are not meant to be forever. Whoever or whatever makes that judgement call remains a mystery. Still, I’m a firm believer that we have a soul that goes on. I don’t think you could have written what you wrote without a soul. :-)

    January 20, 2017
    1. wonderwall79

      A pleasure MA7 yes I hope our souls continue on in some form or rather, the vessels matter not much but the soul or spirit does yes death will always win in the end I should of remembered a favourite quote I say to people must have been the whiskey that blanked it out it goes like this- don’t worry about life, none of us are gonna make it out alive anyway
      I value your input and agree whole hearted
      Tipping me hat to you ma’am thank you.!!

      January 21, 2017
  3. cjb321

    Ah life. One must roll with the punches and ultimately death wins out! Excellent write!

    January 20, 2017
  4. wonderwall79

    Indeed yes something I should never lose the notion of.!!
    Death will always win but it’s what we do before death that counts
    Thank you to the reply of me rant, I tip my brim in respect as I Trott to my next escapade

    January 21, 2017
  5. macabre360

    Also my nomadic dark horseman. Like you I’ve thought I seen the last straw. Many times.
    It’s almost amusing how there always seems to be one more yet to draw.
    Also I wonder since death always wins out. What does it actually win?

    January 21, 2017